heartbreak.

Today marks the best and the worst day . How great can my day be ? It's like i don't even know how to explain how i feel . The best is because it's my last day of UT2 . Complete all my papers at one go . However my mood has to be dampen .

Seriously , from the start everything was fine . but it was because of past feelings and assumptions , it became an argument out of a joke . My throat feels so choked with my tears that i cant even cry , and it is a feeling that i had not felt in years .

You behave like a child , always defending your stand , no matter how unreasonable you sound , you will still want to have it your way , I get it , guys have pride , but some how , a certain topic might need a guy to be much more sensitive than usual . But you do not understand that point , i do not need you to tell me you will love me the way i am . I know and i get it that you will . But all i need is a it's alright , we can work this out together .

You will always feel that I would always vent my anger out , but do you even understand why i say such things . It's because sometimes i want you to prove to me that you are not like that . Such like when i call you childish and immature i actually wish you would reflect and think why i told you that . You said you made changes , i am glad you did .

Now i get it why research has shown that girls are always 5 mental age older than a guys , because girl mature faster and would be much more sensitive especially when they are nearing their period . But you just did not understand that , and yet i always get yell at no matter how many time i lower my voice or even told you to blame yourself first before blaming others.

I am to blame as when i am unhappy i would choose not to reply to massages or even to phone calls . The reason is that i would want to compose myself to the surrounding and also at the same time understand the situation and cool myself down , so that i do not have the impulse to say things i am not supposed to say .

When i say feel that it is not worth any more , as i do not find the point to always quarrel , and not knowing when to stop .  It is very tired to fight a war with yourself and also with the one you love most . As the one you love most suspects you of having an affair or even have a change of heart , as because there is a slight change in attitude . It just creates more tension and it builds up the heartaches and grudges held against one another.

I do not like it when you include a third party in our quarrel such like my sister or my friends . As i do not find it is necessary but you think i am being defensive . This will always be a quarrel , as i will feel annoyed because after so long , you think that i'm defensive .

Even though we may be of different level , but i have never once looked down on you , I know you may feel inferior but i mean no harm . I am a very ambitious person, and i do not like to depend on others , as i want to go far and share the joy with you . But that is not how you feel , i always give in , but i do not want to limit myself to only one choice . We may have huge communication gap , we always try to fill it up , but somehow , you still do not understand . I know i have limited patience , but my patience level increase as i knew you and i always hope that you would remember what i told you . As somethings i told you the day before , and when i were to remind you again , you accuse me of not telling you .


Finally , please do not treat me like one of your accuse . As i do not want this relationship to be solely based on evidence love . It is annoying and this would stir up distrust and also at the same time grudges. 


There maybe many reason why we fight , we cannot get along , we hate , but there is only one reason why I love you . I know i am not allowed to rant on twitter or on Facebook , but after this post i really hope you would understand a little more and have a better patience level . As being the only one who is clapping alone is very tried .

Too many things on my mind , wanted to share with someone , but i'm sure i'll be told that they are not important and why do i have to care what others feel . 

Had a sudden meet up yesterday with Xj , amanda and Kc . Celebrated Kc birthday in advance , and well hope he likes the cake , buffet and the card . :) Really enjoy last minute plans , Amanda drove us over to parkway for dinner and also for Starbucks . Come to think of it , we are all growing old , such like having the age to have a licence ... Felt super nostalgic , such like having recess with them , walking home tgt , getting thrown out of class for the same reason tgt . It's like when we were all still in Secondary school , we have each other , and now , it's the real world , we cant be dependent on one another . 

I'm so glad that i met you guys , knowing you was my pleasure and being friends with you all was my honor . 

Lastly , i'm thankful for you , no matter how upset i was with my friends or family , you would cheer me up . Thank you deary , love you in every language .   

No one should be judge based on their past.

No one should be reminded of their past .

Everyone should learn how to let go of their past .

We learn from the past and improved it for the future .

Been back after so long :) Just had a random feel to blog again , as i felt that's so much to update about my life . That's how i feel . Had recent meet ups with my secondary school lovelies  , it was great  .
Recently , my boy celebrated his 21st birthday , so happy for him , i really hope he liked the party even though it was really nothing much .

I've been looking at my past post and i've seen how much weight i've gained . How disappointing ... I always dreamed of being skinny , dreamed of being healthy . But i was never at that point , so i would just suck it up and get on with my life . But this year i'm doing something different , i aim to lose 5 - 10 kg within this year . This is so to stay healthy and not feel frustrated about being plum . I mean , i'm not the bimbo typo of girl that goes round telling people they are fat but in turn they are vvvvvv skinny. I mean when i feel uncomfortable in my clothes it would mean that it's a sign .  Well , i hope there's people who would feel the way i feel :( i dont want to feel this alone though .

Oh and my bf is really annoying , as he kept pestering me on what am i gonna update , and i think it will be about him ! hahahah Just kidding , if you see this ok ! Send you many many love ! I want to let you know that , you are the best gift god has given . I love you !

Back again

Hello yaw ! :D It's been long since i update this space , Past weeks was fun , dearboy drove me to jurong , had tons of fun in snow city , had our night out , went for mac breakfast in the wee hours , had a lot of fun . Went shopping with mummy , last weekend , and once again i lost my ezlink card again .__.

Oh school was great , even though i am not in the same class as Chia and Sharon , but school was still alright . So glad of my grades and i am so proud of myself , i have yet skipped school and it is the fourth week :)

hehehe , tonight i am going to meet my chomps and have a good night :D

I cant wait ! :D

People who stood by you

Friends plays a huge part in my life . And i thank every one of them for always being there for me .

Surprise

Gave Amanda a belated birthday surprise , met up with Xiujuan and eve . Spent hours laughing at every single act and almost took neoprints . Had dinner at Pizza hut , and soon amanda and eve came over to my place to give me courage to check my results . So glad to have my girls there for me . Praying that they will always stay by me :)

The past is the past , there's only 86 000 seconds in a day and why waste it by holding on to the past ? Move on , you'll never know what you've missed out in life.

Lover

Erm ,the photos aint that nice , cus my skills are kinna horrible ._. Anyway , had a great week with my loverboy . Watched 2 movies this week , went to the zoo and did some shopping :)

Thanks honey for always making me happy around you :3

I cant wait to meet amanda and eve this week , and Rachel and Ben next week. Cant wait to see them :D

Will be back at this space when i'm free , have a great night everyone :)

Annoyed

A bitch knows a bitch when she sees one .

Head to H&M today , Finally it's opened in Singapore ! :D I'm waiting to get paid , and then i can go shopping :) So happy ahh :D Busy month :) Alright , have a good day everyone :)

awesome

Yesterday , marks the last day of Year 2 Sem 1 . Head to town with my favorite people but tiffany and adele could not join us though . Had ice cream buffet and late night snackings after that . So guilty , i ate so much :/ Anyway , My sis and My mum left for Korea last afternoon , and well now i have the whole house to myself . It's not that good actually , everything is just so quiet .

I feel that this year passed a little too quickly aye .

So many events this holiday , I got 6th monthsary with bf , yang's 19th birthday , Denard's 18th birthday , my school camp , Shopping with my favorite people and also I have to meet up with Rach & Ben . : )

soon to be 5th month :)

Okayyy i dont know how long have i not been to this space . Okayy because of @Janiceflys talking about blogging , and then i decided to blog again ._.

Anyway , school has been alright , and well it's gonna be the 15th week and my year 2 , sem1 is over . Mum and sis gonna go korea without me :( Life sux , my Bali trip got canceled because my mum's not free and bf cannot take off anymore :(

Anyway , happy 149 days darling :) 2 more days to 5th month :)

Okayyyy good night everyone :)

so happy

oh hi ! the month of may was great , but June , please be better :)

Oh , i dont need to post or brag about my boyfriend . But all he needs to know is that i love you bf :)

:)

Instead of meeting my sexyzx today , stayed home and tuition my sis :/

kkkk , short update .

Sexyzx

Met my sexyzx yesterday , to celebrate shawn's 18th birthday : ) They never fail to make me laugh ! Met them at 3plus at town , went shopping for Shawn's present and then head over to yishun to have dinner at Seoul Garden , after dinner , went over to mac and sat there for hours just talking and laughing . It's been long since i felt so happy . Anyway reached home around 11plus.

Today :

Home > School > Home

Bf 20th birthday + Uss

Celebrated bf's 20th birthday tgt with my mum and sis at Uss . It's an awesome place . Took Battlestar galactic 3 times . And i must say the Cylon , would be a nicer one to sit ! Took the rides i wanted to take and it's so great being with my family . Spent the whole day at uss , had dinner at vivo , and mummy and jamie went home. While bf and i head over to sengkang for his birthday celebration with murphy , michelle , his friends . Cab home and bf had to catch the last bus home .

I really hope my bf had a great day , and an awesome birthday.

Alright i got to head out and meet bf at yck :D Goodbye !

Happiest 1st month :)

That's my bf , and you see the sushi and the cake in his hand , i made the sushi for him and the cake , i went to icing room yesterday morning to get the cake done :) So , it's like this surprise was for his advance birthday present and adding on the first month.

Spent our first month at Marina Barrage , had a mini picnic there and my bf learnt how to fly a kite , while i sit there and turn in to a roasted pork.

I'm happy that i have you :)

Happiest girl

Met my dearest bf on Wed , he brought me to the Zoo :D Happy max ! Spent the whole day at Zoo , went back to Amk , had dinner and we head over to Ecp . We sat there , talking through the night . Watched the Sun Rise , head home , and sleep . Had Dinner with bf at Lavender , went over to Bugis , Window shopped and went home . Met him on friday again , he cooked for me , well that's like the best thing anyone has ever done for me . Had dinner at Tampines , then back home .

Mum asked bf to join us for Uss :) Gonna stay home on Sat and Sunday .

I miss my girlfs , sexyzx and my Siaoehs ! :(

:) You make me happy

Hi boyfwen , if youre reading this , i wanna let you know that i love you :)

You made me happy always and always trying to clear my wish list :3

Sum this week up.

Monday- Was supposed to meet Angie and co . But ended up in Facial

Tues - Met bfwend in the morning , then over to Rach's place . Met Ben as well

Wed - Met bfwend , he drove us around . Got lost alot of times , but then it was super nice just sitting next to bfwend , looking at him drive .

Thur - Met bfewnd , and his friends . Had breakfast at Jalan Kayu , went over to punggol end , marina country club , then over to Plaza Sing fetched Felicia , Over to flyers . Then dropped Felicia and James off at Vivo . When bfwend droved me to punggol end for the breeze and then brought me over to this really nice place at sengkang/punggol.

Fri - Met my lovelies , super happy. It's been so long since i saw them !

Tomorrow - Gonna head to town with my mum

Sunday - Over to my cousin's place

That's all for my week . :)

I'm super happy .