Hello , i am back and i am happier (:

Did loads of stupid things . Had over night pool with George and co . Spent awesome time with Rach and ben . Adding on , met Joel Balls :D Went out with Wenda , met my Sexyzx And Last night webcam with Samuel (: I am happier , i no longer cry to sleep (: Anyway Merry Christmas .

I made a wish (:

I guess

Last night , i made the toughest choice . Just a click changes everything . My heart still hurts , I have not seen you in a week , and spoken to you in 6 days . You said you need time because youre stress . Aint we suppose to work things out and not leaving anyone behind . Somehow i still love you , but i know even if we're back tgt , nothing will work out . Both are us are too stubborn to make changes . Even if changes are made , we'll be a step forward and three steps backwards . Till now , i still feel that i am still not good enough for you .

Hello stranger .

Dear you ;

I wonder how are you . we did not text for 3 days already . I missed you , but do you . Why did you have a sudden change of heart ? Was it my fault ? I know you wont read my blog . And also i guess , if you ever come across my blog , at least you know that i love you . I dont know what wrong have i done that ever upset you until you decided to ignore me . It breaks my heart really .. I'm sorry if i am not the best girlfriend , and also i may not be the prettiest girlfriend you can bring out . I may not be the skinniest girlfriend you had . But all i have , is a heart , who stays by you at your ugliest moment . I dont understand why we fight through every one's perception just to be together and now , we ended up in the most miserable way.. I am sorry that i am selfish , i'm sorry that i have trust problems , i'm sorry for every mistake made in this relationship. I tried very hard to be the most caring girlfriend i could be , i tried very hard to make you happy . All i could say is that i really do not know why we will end up like this now . Things change , we meet new people . Tomorrow will be our 49th month )': You did not tell me anything , but please , dont leave me hanging . Soon it'll be Christmas then End of year . My only wish would be that we could sort things out , be it good or bad . I really miss you . I enjoyed every happy time we had together ... i am not sure if you already left or still considering to stay .. I only want the best for both of us. I love you still i guess ..

From me .

I miss everything about us .
I dont know what changed , but i know time can build back everything .

I'll do anything so that we remain the same . I know you still love me ... )':

Words we could never find .

I hate this year , everything . I felt that every good thing that happened , fades away too fast . And whatever bad things that happened , just stays . Best friends , who i used to think they were true . But things change , change too fast that whenever i read whatever they gave me , i could literally end up in tears. I missed my lovelies , all 4 of them , Eve , nana , amanda and xj . In secondary school we were so close that no matter what fights we have , we will settle it . But now , it's so hard to talk to one another . Or the matter a fact , we never talk any more. Seriously tell me what does forever means , fornever would be a better word . We been through shit and all it takes for a heart to fall and everything is gone . What's with the promises , you said you will never let me fall , but when ever i fall , i am always there alone to pick myself back up . You made my 2010 the most memorable year.

Seriously , everything changes . No one remain the same ..

a few more days

19 more days to Christmas , 25 more days till the year end .

Not in much of a Christmas mood , because i have nothing to look forward too .
This year has been horrible for me . So much more heart breaks than usual . It seriously sucks . I want 2011 to be a better year . I want you to take me for real . I lost too much friends this year . I want a good Christmas , i wish this year end would be a great ending to cover up all the shit this year. 2010 , it's as good as dead.

Even though it's still early to make 2011 wishes , but i wish none of this shit i faced in 2010 , will not be repeated in 2011 .

Heartbreak

Met with my dearest rachel , ben , Babyboy , Murphy and john . ( :
School was usual , had lots of down .
It's the start of dec and it sucks so much already ):

I miss my bby already ):

Please stay by me , and not change . I love everyone of you babies. I cant afford to lose any more of you . There's a first for everything . So , no surprises if someone leaves again .. I'll try to make do with what i have .

Tomorrow's makes the first day of my paper . Oh good luck : >

I guess this would be a better way..

Moved

Moved on to another one .

past

After looking back at the past post , the photos , the fb , everything .. I realise , what i really need is just someone to be there to care.

I am not happy with my life , that's the truth . After weeks , i dont even know if i have a boyfriend or not . :/

School was usual , new friends and so on . They are all nice people , same as my sexyzx.

I need a shoulder , right now ..
I'm sorry pillows for all the salty tears .
I'm sorry heart for all the broken pieces .
I'm sorry mind for worrying .
I'm sorry body for harming you .

I haven been eating for at least a week , running high fever for at least a week . Which made me feel even worse.

I dont know what's wrong , is it me , or ...

Empty

Goodbye.

How gross

Can you not be so disgusting .

If only

If only , i have someone to lean on when i'm tired .
When i need someone to talk too so badly , i turn to no one .

I can see you tomorrow night (: I cant wait . I got so many things to tell you !
I still love you , i do .

):

I cannot stand this loneliness .
I cannot stand ignorance from you.
This is killing me .. i cannot stop crying , my heart aches so much.
What went wrong , dont pretend you dont know ... When did we fall apart ..
Was it something that i said , or was it something that i did ..

Looking at the past chat logs , i just fall apart ... I deleted all our text , so that i will control myself to not be so sticky . Till now i cannot stop crying ...

):

Things change .. No one's heart can stay true for long .
i miss you so much , why no more calls , text and anything else .
I'm sorry ..

):

I need someone to talk to me .
I am very bored , i need entertainment .

And seriously , my first daily grade was horrible . _l_ the faci . Nb

Sem 2 Day 2

Hello , today , at least my group was awesome :3 Nasha , sherlyn , meow are awesome people ! Hehe , tomorrow's Math , wish me luck . ( : I am gonna anyhow wear tomorrow , i dont care !

sem2 day 1

I usually look forward to the first day of school , but today was horrible . My class was so quiet that i could hear the air con " blewwwwwww blewwwwwwwww " ): I made a new friend , her name is Carmen , she's awesome . Also , i know this girl nasha , she's awesome , and i really like her . And Qiao Tian , okay i already know her , she's really nice .


Had lunch with my sexy , we were all very upset, and i feel that everyone feels the same . Why must we change class , everyone feel so weird ): Adding on what was worst , is that my module today is great but the faci is not ): He's like naggy . oh well , drag class till 3. ): My sexy waited for me outside class . And we walk to station tgt and mrt over to town . Sad to say i did no spend money . took a bus home from amk , ws doing rj half way and i KO ._. I slept all the way home , and then reached home , shower and after watching gg , and now imma blogging . Okay Good night , my head hurts like crap . ):

Good night , ilyb (:

Happy girl

I'm going to spend money later with @Yanggmehmeh and del then gonna meet @CherylEbony , @Verna and @KokkySusan for dinner at town . Happy girl : >

Sem 2 gonna start tomorrow , a part of me wanna stay at home , and the other part want to go school.

I'm aware that it's the past. ( : Thanks for it anyway .

I NEED TO GO SHOPPING
CONRAD UNDER PAID ME BY 85.75$ .

THEREFORE I AM VERY ANGRY :O

Hello

B,S&C Came over > Slept > Ms > Home

Long day tomorrow & Starbucks Sunday !

I.AM.BORED.
I need to do something before school reopens . All i know imma going Airport this Sunday to waste time . Mummy flying off to bk ): I wanna go shopping but i have school . Adding on , today is payday :> Oh , my dog pulled my pillow and my lappy dropped on the floor . Thank god it fell side ways .
I wish i had you by my side always .. like the past . You used to be here always by my side ...

Awesome chalet with awesome people . I hope Sharon have the best 17th birthday ! While for the others this is like one of the best time spent tgt. We have h2ht , we play stupid games , we drink so much that no one puke , watched some horror movie where Yang, denard , bf , Sharon and i was like covering faces and wtf wtf wtf . While the rest slept . We've seen the ugliest side of everyone . I love my sexyzx ! We shall have such chalet again but this time make it longer !

Also , finally , i just reached home . Choing home just to see my results . I did better than what i expected . Well , i need to sleep . That's all for my whole Holiday i guess . I felt that this Holiday was worthwhile , as i went for so many chalets , long nights , mahjong and so many other things . ( :

Good day

Eve still owe me photos . Met my lovelies , head over to Chinatown , i insisted to take a bus , because i have some kind of bus fetish , i know i'm weird but i like it . I love longggggg bus rides (: Which i made eve sit the whole 1hour 45min bus ride to Jurong on the tues . ( : Okay , we went over to Chinatown , wanted to go for some Vintage stuff , but the weather almost took the living soul out of us . So we wanted to walk to Clarke Quay , however we ended in Raffles ... Okay , dont asked me how .. I dont know either . Trained over to Vivo , Had lunch at mussel guy , headed over to f21 , got a top , very tempted to get that dress ): Walked around vivo , headed to Cold Storage , wanted to get either the Margarita mixer or Baileys for the coming Chalet. Del gonna get Chivas , Yang gonna bring her Vodka , while i might just buy Baileys ( : Cant wait for Monday's Chalet & Sharon's Birthday !

After Cold storage , we took a bus home again , Was talking about our future , so we decided on something huge . Imma not gonna leak any thing out here , readers just have to wait for it (:

Sat & Sun , gonna tutor Jamie .

Monday - Chalet .

I will not be home on the Monday , Tuesday and maybe Wednesday . (:

Ciao

( :

Not a very good morning , even though the weather is perfect , but i'm running high on fever ): Adding on the noise from the neighbours . The more i cant be put to sleep . I've officially unPrivate my twitter (: I'll go take a shower and see what can i do now...

Not meeting Yang and del . ): Both Yang and i not feeling well , and Del must be really sad . ): It's okay , Chalet on Monday , We shall drink till we go high okay ! ( : Love love .

Nobody

Headed off to bfatty place in the morning , woke him up and everything , his mum cooked breakfast . Had breakfast , then went to old woodlands ctr , got my ear enlarger and hello kitty . Went back to woodlands inter , mrt till amk , then had lunch . Brought lunch home for Jamie . Soon left for Parkway . Bought Cakes , Sushi and many things over to East Coast . Had a Mini Picnic there . (: Left Ecp at around 9 . Took our own sweet time to go home . And i really wished i was not home yesterday .


Today , spent my whole afternoon with bfatty . (: And now i dont know what to do . Shall see what can i do for my bb ! Oh can anyone tell me where to download themes or games for bbb9700. <3


And i think tomorrow imma gonna crash with eve .
Thursday with my Fatties
And Friday maybe with girlfs .

Good news

Went bugis, got my Bb , went peni , saw amp for jamie . She's gonna go back there to collect it in 3weeks time .

Cant wait for tomorrow : >

To you .

Rip , Daryl Thong Han Jie.

I've known you for a couple of years , though we aint that close , but you stood by me one of the nights , trying to cheer me up after break ups . Thanks for being there , and also , why did you do such a silly thing . ): Youre turning 17 in a few days time , we still dont get it why did you do such a thing . You know your parents are waiting for you , in fact everyone is waiting for you. You have my respect . Rest in peace Bro . With love , Mingliang , Janice , Ivan , Carlson , Ben , and from everyone of us who was there . You will never be forgotten.



After everything , Bfatty , ben and i went over to amk for dinner . Ivan and Lin Feng, came over . L4D2 then home . Sigh . It happened too fast.

Killer

Yesterday almost killed me ..
Head to vivo with bfatty at around 6pm , had dinner . And also had another moonlight dinner . This makes me feel super fat . Like 2 dinners in less than 2hours. So , Shaun called , cab over to Amk , met Shaun and Caris . Went to bwp , played lan ._. ikr , why lan . Because we have nothing better to do . The 4 of us were l4d2-ing . And sad to say there aint no bs there . ) : Left at around 11pm . Slowly took a bus home with bfatty. Reached home close to 12. That's how no life my life is .

Okay at least something new today , i have work : > I should go prepare .

I seriously dont like

Dont you fucking hang the phone on me .

I need someone here now .

Taken by Yang's pHa pHa , Barrage . I know the pictures seems to be very dark . Well it's okay .

Sorry i really need a place to rant . I dont know who can i talk to neither do i know who will even take a step out , to fit in to my shoes and understand . So i figured this would be the best place , for me to talk rot .

Things happen for a reason , i understand , but we caused things to happen . So i don't really get it , of why people want to set someone up and then they might get into trouble as well . Seriously , because of all this bullshit , it's causing so much heartaches to everyone who cared . Why are you breaking your parents heart just to protect your own name .

I really want to know what are your motives . Is it money or because of face . What's with face , how far can face bring you .. It's not like if you have alot of face , people will know about this and that . It's like if you want people to like you and pity you , there will be people who hate you and seriously want to get you out of their sight .

I do not understand why do humans behave in such a way that no matter how positive they are , there ought to be someone negative to neutralize the feeling . It's because of those benefits , you have motives , and also , you forget to add in the consequences ..

I am just so upset that i dont even know how to end . Have you ever felt that everything was perfect but then you know what is going to happen next and you can never do a thing to change it? It feels so fucked up that , i do not even know what can i do to help .. because i know i can never do anything to change the fact..

I am so fucking upset .. This is not enough , i need to write and burn ...

Camp tomorrow , fml ..

Last paper today , it felt great . : > Went over to Marina square , had lunch at Just asia . Awesome lunch , head over to num , got my bag : > Went over to barrage , sun tan , played volleyball , flew a kite , spam pictures with my baby and Yang's pHa pHa ( : Too bad my bfatty was not here , but it's okay . There's next time right . So spent the whole day at the barrage , had an awesome day with the sexyfatties . Next time we go again , this time we bring a fan and other things ! Was suppose to head over to ice cube , but change of plans , all went home at around 10,

Tomorrow , not home , wed's conrad and Thursday to friday Jive Camp : >
I cant wait loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooorh : >

I hope my bfatty will sleep well tonight : > I miss you .

Okaaaaay good night every one ( :

Cuz talk is cheap

I'll hold on to your words , cuz talk is cheap . - Secondhand.S

Spent a bomb just now , i have yet to study for Science , Math and tomorrow's communication prac. I did study communication, but like scared ..


Youre missed , the thought of ... seriously breaks my heart. Lets pray for the best of it .

Happy

Row - was awesome , it was fun yet tiring . Went to Changi airport with Sexyzx , had dinner @ poepye : > Bfatty came over after his work , he had poepye as well . Went home with bfatty and the sexyzx . h2ht with bfatty , and went home at around 11plus.

Today i need to study , exams start tomorrow . Wish me luck : >
Blackshot & Crystal Jade later : >

I love my sexyzx : >

( :

I think i do not have a life .
It's either imma with fatty or imma playing bs .
Had an awesome match with John and Juan .

4sep : Row
6sep : G101 Ut3
7sep : B102 Ut3 + Conrad tour
8sep : G103 Ut3
9sep : Al0l Ut3 + Yang & Denards' Birthday celebration
10sep & 11 sep : NafNaf
12sep : Conrad
13sep : A113 Ut3
16 & 17 sep : Jive camp
21 - 29 sep : F1 : >

):

Why you like that again , you promise me then you ...
Do you really want me to ignore everything , i will , and you will regret .

Met up with everyone today . Went back to school , saw almost all the teachers i want to see. I miss them so . I got a teacher's day present from Mrs tan , for i dont know what reason. Rot at school till afternoon , had lunch at ahboon with Joel , Shaun , Jin cai , Jia mung , Amanda , Evangelin and Xj . After lunch , headed to the library to study . Went Parkway for Sakae and then home . Gonna study later , i shall control myself and not play blackshot. (:

I miss my Fatty . He got me the cutest soft toy ever ! < : Happy girl last night . Went Kbox with Nigel and Fatty . I sang my heart out and drank what i want . It felt so great . After k , went to play the pick-up-toy machine , and my fatty got me the cutest soft toy ever < : Cab home after that .

Study tomorrow and meet Dexter at night . < :

Not very happy

Xj came over at about 1.30 , went over to Library met kc . Had lunch and studied till 6. Went back home .

I tell myself that tomorrow will be a better day , but it turns out that it was worse than yesterday. I really hate it when that happens , I hate it when i am treated this way . It's always the same , whenever you say 'i promise it will never happen again ' , well it happened again and again ... Well , i'm sorry , my fault . I dont want to put in any effort , it's so tiring .

Work tomorrow , i hope it will be a better day..

Being nice , does not pay off anything .
Showing that you care by asking why , just gets you into shit .
So why bother .

Home > Library > Study > Dexter's place > Home .

I'm back . I met yang at amk , had bread and waited for pt . After she came , we trained to school , soon denard came along . Studied for awhile, and then we nua ): Left school at around 6 , went to have a meal at Causeway . I went to meet xj after i left amk. Gonna study with xj and kc tomorrow afternoon and meet Dexter at night. I hope he's feeling better (:

I need to studyyyyyyyyyy , i cannot nuaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa ): Okay math tomorrow ):

Hi deary , notes to you (: I hope you have been eating well . Drink more water larh , dont always pespi or other drinks . Sleep more (: I know youre always tired after your work , thats why i never disturb you . Luvluv : >

._.

Let's play nice . I want to be friends with you > :

Off to meet Yang and co @amk then school. : 3

Awesome

Hi , currently i have yet gotten the photos from Dexter , but i will post it asap , when i get it . Okay , today was a rather boring day , i guess . Fatty gave me a surprise , we hang out and then i send him to his work place . I did not want to part with him so he was sweet enough to send me to the mrt : > Reached home around 6plus , rot at home . And then i suddenly feel like meeting Dexter , so i gave him an impromptu phone call . Met him at his place at 8 , it's so nice hanging out with only him in his condo . We took loads of photos and i tied his hair like some Korean boy . And he's like a happy boy , keep saying so handsome ._. Okay , left his place around 10plus . Reached home and i feel like sleeping . Okay good night , i need to sleep . Imma going school tomorrow to study with Yang , del , Pt and Denard (: I'm a very happy girl today (: heh

Hi, fatty . I know youre reading my blog and youre such a dear . Sleep early , drink loads of water and eat more : > See you next week okeehhhhhhhh after my work (: Loads of luv . Read your text okeh , dont skip any of the texts . (:

Good morning

I want a pair of Vans shoe , and go shopping @ Far East . Who's with me ? : >

I needa study today . 3 more modules to go . Motivate Motivate Motivate Motivate

Mahjong + Chalet

After 2 days of not being home , it's feels so good to be home now . Okay , was with Shawn, Amos, Jin Cai . Played Mahjong till 6am . Cab over to fatty's place . Then rot at his place till 4pm . He went to work , while i cab over to Evan's chalet . Rot with Shawn , Amos , Xiujuan and Amanda , while waiting for others to come over. Had Bbq , and well , i think i ate my heart out .. somehow .. Cut cake and everything , then went over to Downtown to get vodka + coke + greentea . Took 45minutes of my time , to walk back to the chalet with George and Co. Played games and drank alot . HongSiang came and picked me up at around 4am. Rot with fatty . And now , i am back home . (: Des just bank in my pay , awesome , my money is here . And also , i need to meet Yang and co for study session . We cannot play mahjong okay : >

Okay , i need to sleep . : > Nights

I wish i can just ignore

Went over to amk , met yang and pt . Went Chinatown , wanted to get out pay , but Diana not in . So had Koi , and went over to St.James . Went for the Winkle Mall event , then went over to vivo , then meet my dearest at Dhoby Ghaut station . Sent him to work , then home.


It hurts so much that i really do not know where to start. I have so many things to say , but i think it's best if i were to write it out . Why am i so weak , Janice why are you always crying like some little girl who does not get her candy . Why does this happen all the time . It's like imma always watching my heart fall in to pieces , like I need to be numb , but i cant . Seriously , I cant wait to get drunk and high tomorrow . Fuck , i seriously , need to cry , it's so sour that i really cannot control anymore . And yes, please dont comment , i told you so. Fuck off man , you know who you are , i dont need you to rub it in , you get it . How would you feel if i rub salt in your wounds . You and i are humans , and we have feelings as well . So please dont comment if you are trying to be sarcastic . I need no sarcasms.

Out

Had so much fun today.
Met Susan and Sharon , went over to Yang's place . Mahjong with Del , Susan , yang . Peiting also Learned how to play Mahjong . I left with Sharon , she went for YOG , i went over to fatty place. Rot at his place . Was fighting with him and i won , i think . hehe I kept hitting him because he keep sleeping . So end up he gave up and read magazines through the night. Left at around 10plus. (: Oh and i encounted the wierdest thing today . I saw a frog on another frog. It's like a small frog on a bigger frog. It's so cute i tell you . It made me stand there for 5 minutes , just looking at it. : >

Tomorrow's saturday . My plans for tomorrow is , collect pay , meet yang and Peiting , St.James for Flee and home for dinner . And then Maybe overnight at Shawn's place for Mahjong and then
the next day , Evangelin's chalet , over night again with the guys . I cant wait :B

I think i do not have a life anymore . It's either i mahjong or i rot at home studying .

I miss my fatty : > You never fail to make my day. Okay , good night readers.

I need someone there.

I dont like this feeling , it's as good as being alone .
I envy girls who are able to spend time with their boyfriend.


Went over to xj's place , had lunch , then over to Shawn's place . Went mac , with Shawn,Amos & Xj. Met Shaun , nigel , evangelin & Jen . Went back to Shawn's place . They Mahjong , i sat next to shawn and watch him play . Was really fun though , at least imma not at home alone . Was supposed to go town with the guys , but i was too tired . So skipped dinner with them .

Went home , and off for dinner with mummy . Gonna study later (:
Cant wait for Kbox tomorrow with my sexyzx . (: I am not alone (: hehehhe

Annoyed

Reached home around 2plus . Took a nap and then studied . Was at mac yesterday night with fatty and Nigel. Was supposed to meet Ben but in the end , never meet . Went home in the afternoon after watching naruto with fatty . Was super moody , had cramps which hurts like crap and i think i made fatty a little angry . I went home alone and took a nap . Woke up and studied . Going to study again left a few more chapters to go. :/ Mahjong session with Amos , Shawn , Jincai and Xiujuan tomorrow . And then Friday Zoo with my lovelies . Cant wait . Furthermore , Chalet on Sunday . How awesome can the week get . I need to collect my pay and also study next week before i work again .

Hi fatty , i dont know if would you have the time to read this post , but please take good care of yourself okay , drink alot of water and eat more okay. Youre falling sick already , always coughing . Better sleep well okay . (:

I am bored to death . I need someone to study with me . I miss W46a ):

i wish .

Horrible + Terrible .

Not home

Youre a bitch , life.

Not home tonight , miss me alright.

Awesome but yet horrible

Thanks babies , you really made my sem 1 and awesome one . Even though it's only been 15 weeks , but it felt like i've known you babies for years . Everything and everyone of you babies are so awesome that really nothing compares to the joy you babies bring. Today marks the end of everything . Great start and well , i must say it's the best ending , cos i leave with happy and good memories . All i can say is that , no matter how far life brings us , we will all be close to heart . Never letting anyone down , and i'm always here for you babies . Dont look back okay , cry and move on after today . We are still able to meet up in school, and we have to go home tgt okay , I dont care .

Thank you every single one of you , standing by me , through my break ups , friendship problems , to every single worksheet problems . I love you babies and i promise i'll hold you close to my heart.

Notes

1. Hair Cut
2. Shopping
3. Zoo w Girlys
4. Work = $$
5. Study for finals


I think that's all. I left 1 day with my sexyzx ):

Happyttm

I got A job at Conrad Hotel for F1 , I got Travel fair as well .

Oh awesome (:

Least

Seriously , i do deserve some respect and save some of my pride right ?
I know you are kidding , but ..
Forget it . I'll just let it go .

Janice you have been giving in for the past year , why not just continue doing the same .
Fuck , i feel super terrible .
Do not cry , do not cry , do not cry , do not cry . Sorry , i have to let myself out .

Meow

I'm very hungry meow.

Okay i see donuts , Hattie very nice , she buy Donuts for My W4sexyzxA .

Heh , Kbox later with My Sexyzx : >

Happy

He very chubby (: Okay , woke up early today , snuggle in bed , how awesome can that be . Went Suntec , had lunch at Pepper Lunch . Went over to Marina , shopped and sat at mac for 2 hours . Shaun came over and then i had Secret Sushi :) I am a happy girl . Then they went to work and i went home . Had dinner and went down with milo for night walk . I climbed the steps back home. 15 Storeys , so proud of myself . (: Should i even turn up for tomorrow's event ? I dont think i want , later go there all weird weird one ._. I'll study tomorrow and tutor Jamie .

Our last day tgt for Cog.

4 more days and my W4sexyzxA will be separated .